Lonely Nights

The one thing I miss about being in a Daddy/little girl relationship right now is that when I get uber scared at night when I'm all alone in my room, I have no one to really contact. I have good friends who help me when they can, bless them, but it's not the same. I don't feel as protected against the evil scary night monsters. >.<

What's hardest is the loneliness I feel at night. I just want to be held in someone's safe arms, yet I know I'd be rushing into a relationship and that would be doomed to fail. >.< I miss so many things about being in a relationship, yet I am doing my best not to make the same mistakes I have made in the past.

Lately, the loneliness has been hardest. It was like this even before I left my lover/Daddy/Master. >.< It was hard the last few weeks of our complicated relationship (at that point due to separation) because I didn't feel like he wanted to protect me anymore. I felt so lonely so often, and now it's only become worse. I am thankful for the friends I have. They mean so much to me. The hardest thing for me right now is trying not to push my natural clinginess in romantic relationships onto my friends. >.< I don't want to push them away like I pushed my ex away. This loneliness is hurting me so much. I've actually been afraid to cry over the loneliness I feel. I don't want to be seen as weak by my family. They are so proud of me for standing up for my own wants and needs, which weren't being met. And I know I couldn't have stayed in such an unhappy relationship. I just wish the loneliness would go away. >.<