Why I am happy I left OKCupid.

Today I happened to read a thread on Fetlife about a guy meeting a girl on OKCupid that he seems interested in who after five weeks is still not comfortable talking about sex with him. The guy is unsure of how to proceed because he deems her an "odd character." I don't see how she is odd. The girl has her own issues she's dealing with in her own way and he's really wanting to talk about her sexual history and about sex in general with her.

It reminds me of what I am learning about in my therapy. Everyone has their own issues they are working through. The only reason I want to know my lover/Eddie/Daddy's issues is because I want to help him through them and we are working on bettering our relationship that has already been established. This guy has only known this girl a little over a month and is anxious to know more about her and in this context, he wants to know more about her sexually. Instead of thinking about why it's so important to him that he knows, he's thinking about why she is being the way she is and how he should approach the issue. It's not that he's a bad guy, but that he's basically trying to make her own issues his own when she hasn't decided if she's ok with that or not. (Which basically means back off until she is ok with it.)

It comes across to me like the guy is trying to get her to go at his pace and he is reluctant (at this point) to be patient with her. If I were him I would honestly start looking for someone more compatible with me at this point in my life. The girl clearly is not moving at the pace he would like and he's so interested in her he's ignoring the signals she's already giving him. Either she's not interested or she is dealing with her own issues and he needs to be patient. I only hope he realizes it soon before he comes across as a creeper pushing for sex--which OKC is notorious for.

Funny thing is, the guy clearly didn't like the advice I was giving him and kept making assumptions about my assuming about him all the while he is assuming about the girl he is interested in. Eh... It would be great if people didn't get so pissed off if they didn't get the advice they wanted to hear. He really does come across though like one of the many selfish horny guys that OKC is notorious for.